#SelfCompassion. For me the simplest way to define it is ‘being kind to self.’ This is not self-indulgence nor is it selfishness. It is about kindness. It is about softness, this is not the same as weakness. It’s about challenging your own unkind thoughts to yourself, quieting the inner critic, telling yourself it’s OK, that you are enough, that you did enough, and that tomorrow is another day.
Are you ready to make some changes in your thinking? Are you ready to change the negative messages you tell yourself? Well let’s do this! From my last post I mentioned we would start to identify the types of negative self-talk a/k/a cognitive distortions. Which ones do you identify with the most?
We have all kinds of messages/thoughts running through our minds at any given time. Remember, just because you think it, it does not make it true ! Thoughts/beliefs that make you believe you are “not good enough, only perfection can be good enough, or I’ll always be alone” reinforce a “victim” mentality and keep you stuck in that negative mistaken belief system.
What is that “list” of negative self-talk telling you? Are you surprised how many negative statements you say to yourself? Now let’s take your list and ask yourself these questions about each statement in an exercise to challenge these #cognitivedistortions. This is the How these Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) need to be challenged.
Spring cleaning is in the air. Time to clean out the thoughts that are dragging you down. Today we are still identifying the what. What are the negative messages in your head saying to you? #Digdeep to unconver these messages as they can hide in dark corners and be directing your behaviors. Just because these internal messages are there does not make them rational, true, or accurate. Just because you “messed up” doesn’t mean you are “always” a mess-up. Are you getting the idea?
First we will start with the What…What are all those thought bubbles saying about you? Have you started to identify the critical statements about yourself? Go ahead and write them down on paper or on a phone app. What names are you calling yourself? How can you reframe and be kinder and gentler to yourself?
Are you up for the challenge of developing #selfcompassion? What is it anyway? Isn’t that just being selfish? Isn’t that un-Christian? So many questions I know.
As a therapist in private practice in Melbourne, FL, I continue to find that most people are better adept at expressing compassion for others, but not for themselves. The negative self-talk that banters in one’s mind can be condescending, shaming, and emotionally abusive to oneself.